Monte:  Someone in this office has issues.

Me:  What?

Monte:  So at least once per week for the past few weeks I’ve gone into the men’s room and found a ginormous dump in one of the stalls.  In my stall!

Me:  You have a stall?

Monte:  Yeah, so.  And somebody keeps wrecking it.  Like poop sticking up above the water line.  What is wrong with people?  Are you 8-years-old?  How do you just forget something like that?  FLUSH THE TOILET!

Me:  He probably doesn’t want to clog it.

Monte:  I flushed it.  I always flush it.  It’s one of those toilets that flushes so hard it splashes water on the floor.  I flushed it like 6 times and it still didn’t go down.  Also, there was no paper in the bowl.  So somewhere around here is a guy who just took a King Kong size dump, didn’t wipe, and didn’t flush.  Who does that?  If the building was on fire I could still manage those 2 things.

Me:  That’s disgusting.  I wouldn’t have even bothered with that.

Monte:  It was stinking up the whole place.  I can understand once, but this person has problems.  There’s only so many guys on this floor, and I know it’s someone here, because it happens way too often.  I better not find out it’s one of those guys from sales coming down here to blow up our men’s room, or it’s on.  I was trying to flush that junk when someone walked in.  It smelled like an outhouse in there.  I just walked away and was like, “It’s not mine.”

Me:  You’re so weird.


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Featured image credit:  Shawn Clover via Flickr

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