Monte: Someone in this office has issues.
Monte: So at least once per week for the past few weeks I’ve gone into the men’s room and found a ginormous dump in one of the stalls. In my stall!
Me: You have a stall?
Monte: Yeah, so. And somebody keeps wrecking it. Like poop sticking up above the water line. What is wrong with people? Are you 8-years-old? How do you just forget something like that? FLUSH THE TOILET!
Me: He probably doesn’t want to clog it.
Monte: I flushed it. I always flush it. It’s one of those toilets that flushes so hard it splashes water on the floor. I flushed it like 6 times and it still didn’t go down. Also, there was no paper in the bowl. So somewhere around here is a guy who just took a King Kong size dump, didn’t wipe, and didn’t flush. Who does that? If the building was on fire I could still manage those 2 things.
Me: That’s disgusting. I wouldn’t have even bothered with that.
Monte: It was stinking up the whole place. I can understand once, but this person has problems. There’s only so many guys on this floor, and I know it’s someone here, because it happens way too often. I better not find out it’s one of those guys from sales coming down here to blow up our men’s room, or it’s on. I was trying to flush that junk when someone walked in. It smelled like an outhouse in there. I just walked away and was like, “It’s not mine.”
Me: You’re so weird.
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Featured image credit: Shawn Clover via Flickr